What I'd just said to Mama, was a classic example of how I did that. There was something inside me that seemed to hate it whenever things were going well for me. It was almost like I was my own worst enemy.The situation with Brenda was bad, and I did need to do something, take some action, but it certainly didn't need to be as drastic as what I had proposed at the dinner table. I'd gone through these same situations at St. Cecelia's, a hundred times before. It always started out as something small, a contest of wills, or my deciding not to do something, something that I'd been willing to do in the past. The thing that got it going would be quickly forgotten, as it turned into an angry confrontation over who was in control of me. Always before, in these confrontations, I had been willing to pay any price, to suffer any punishment, to ensure that, in the end, I was the person in control of me.Never before though, had I had anything important to lose, not compared to what I now had. I. He looked grave."What's wrong, honey?" Laurie and John," he said."Are they getting divorced?" I knew it was coming, it was just a matter of time. Anyone would have to be a saint to put up with the stuff that I had heard she did. Especially her kids. She liked to take belts to them, and being a small woman among big boys, I used to think she had a reason, until I saw her use it on one of her kids once when her husband wasn't home. I told John about it and he said he'd deal with it. I hadn't seen her do it again."Yeah, they are." Oh, God. I'm sorry," I said, squeezing his hand. He'd known John a long time."We need to talk, Kelly," he finally said after being quiet for a few seconds."About?" I asked, feeling this empty, hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach.He looked me in the eyes and I knew right then. "You've been sleeping with Laurie, haven't you? You are the reason they're getting divorced?" I pulled my hands away from him."Yes, I'm sorry Kelly. I don't want to hurt you, but I.
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